In the political economy of U.S. schooling, so-called “standardized” tests are not neutral yardsticks. By design and in practice they embed cultural-linguistic hurdles and reproduce concentrated social advantage. In today’s capitalist, bourgeois school system, these regimes are policy instruments that sort, exclude, and legitimize austerity and privatization, useful to monopoly capital’s project of attacking public education (Hursh, 2013; Saltman, 2014). Bias is not a slur; i